The King & I

You don’t actually “enrol” there, Crown. It’s usually just a case of having a sympathetic beak who gives you a community service order and makes you wear a nice ankle bracelet for a fixed period.

I’ll refrain from stating the obvious about “the genius” on this occasion ...

Didn't realise it was that sort of institution. I do hope you're not fibbing to me, Mo.

You're correct, immo's genius is obvious for all to see.

If only others on Stennymad could see the cloying letters and messages I receive from "test", to be read alongside his pathetic attempts at humour on here.

We should probably apply for a grant for continuing to put up with the cunt.

Sigh. More cyber pulling of your favourite’s pig-tails.

The King sent this photo the other day and asked if he should pop in and “have a word” with you about your behaviour. I told him it was just senile infatuation with me and you’re harmless.



Your deadline expires February 01st, fair game after that date, sweetheart.

Informing The King he was to be rested for this Glasgow video went quite well. Yes he threatened to kill me and sent someone to slash my bicycle tyres but he’s a passionate man and when calmed down very kindly shot footage and photos for the vid, cunt will never make a cameraman, mind.

Glasgow’s Queen of Disdain & Disapproval deputised for his majesty with a magnificent performance, so good the royal one’s hat is on a shoogly peg.

Wellington's Hat:

Well thanks ya cunt, I eventually get back on the board after a long time, you come along and totally ignore me.

To be fair to the lanky pederast, how does he know it's you, Sevvy?

This place has changed man.

Yep snake flounced and immo passed away.

The rest of them are probably wanking each other off on Facebook or somewhere. I blame Brexit.

The King heeded his warning because he delivered this cameo on time without any histrionics, which must be a first.
Despite the plethora of people willing to contribute, The King’s place was never really threatened because he’s so good. Obviously only immo is fireproof but The King comes pretty close.

The King and camp fella take their annual look at Glasgow. As usual the King is magnificent and the camp fella is camp.

Glasgow Wandering 3:

Fuckin brilliant Crown.

And that soundtrack, as ever... awesome shit.

Several highlights, Kelvingrove and Connolly best. You're lucky you know the KoG.

Goodness, thank you.

These vids are just one of the reasons I’m your favourite, sweetheart.

Yep, the King’s brilliance and generosity is humbling, ditto Furniture Went Mad. And of course immo helped with a spot of script editing, he’s a genius.

Oh dear, I've just heard from the KoG and he's not very happy with Mr Licker. Not very happy at all...

Something to do with "that soft English cunt bleeping me out for calling that cunt Cody a fucking cunt..."?

The King’s capriciousness is difficult enough to handle without you muddying the waters thank you, young man.
We had an amicable exchange about the bleeping. Well, as close to amicable as any interaction with the King gets:



I’ve sent him a new script this morning, he’ll probably get round to recording it some time next year. He’s a very bad man.

The King sent two takes for this piece. One used in the video and one where he adopts the persona of a Scottish Quentin Crisp (contemporary reference for the younger viewers). It’s quite a performance, and as always, I can be bribed to release this camper than Christmas version for first class Glasgow train tickets.

Can I Visit White Cube With You?

The King has behaved himself impeccably recently, he’s such a star, and his “No one wants to visit Paisley” has amused me all weekend. However, it’s obvious he didn’t win his BAFTA for audio recording and if he sends one more clipped audio file I shall clip his fucking ear next time I’m in town. Immo doesn’t send clipped audio, mostly because he doesn’t send any audio, he’s too busy being a genius.

Bellahouston Park Walled Garden:

These videos are really very good, Crown. I assume somebody else did them and allowed you to pretend their your's...

You need to seek counselling about the Immo thing. Sad. Bigly.

Having good contributors helps enormously, Mo:
FWM’s music
The camp fella’s dry delivery
Charlotte’s stroppiness (I love stroppy women, especially ging-herr ones, hello James)
The occasional contributors
And of course The King. Despite constant pestering he never says no (fuck off cunt, but never no) and always delivers brilliant content (apart from the clipping), indulging me horrendously. It’s a mystery why he talks to me, let alone allowed himself to become an integral part of this nonsense. He’s a god.

There’s no need to be jealous of immo, I love you too……..just not as much.

If you’re ever in Norwich, be sure to visit Eaton Park Bandstand, it’s most impressive.

There’s a prize of lunch with Sevvy in Glasgow’s most prestigious restaurant (Greggs Bakery) for anyone spotting the small mistake in one of the King’s voice over parts.
NB. You will be responsible for purchasing all Sev’s pies at this lunch, no matter how many the pie-munching fuck-wit demands.

Eaton Park Bandstand:

More good stuff, Crown.

KoG adds real value to your videos. Pronunciation perfect too.Not so sure about the builder - he sounds like he was born "oop north" somewhere before banishment to the colonies.

You might want to tell Tarquin that Sandys is most likely pronounced "Sands", though.

There’s no point sucking up to The King, young man, he only talks to you because you know me, and he thinks I’m the world’s biggest cunt………apart from Mita.

Aye, The King's attempt at a "working man's" accent was pitiful. Only time he gets his hands dirty is when he falls over. The epitome of entitled.

Thank you for the pronunciation tip, I’ll pass it on to the camp fella.

I asked The King’s permission to stay four nights in God’s Own City over the first weekend in April and he wasn’t keen, mostly because he owes me lunch(es):

Don't Forget Your Glasgow Visa

Is it any wonder that the Stennymad rumour mill buzzes with stories of Immogreen's untimely demise? So much good stuff on here and not a peep out of the cunt.

Shame. I'd start a silent thread but it would only wake up Sev and he'd demand pies.

The King doesn't feature in this video but I'm contractually bound to say he’s the inspiration for every project.
Immo gets a mention, mind.