The King & I

The King bursts the camp fella's romantic Glasgow illusions:

The outrageously patient, kind, generous and versatile king turns his hand to narrating an horology video.
However I suspect he can’t read a watch because he never turns up on time (or at all) to buy me lunch:

The King owns a posh watch with Roman numerals, but he’s such a pro he still delivered his usual excellent VO, of a script disdaining his taste.
He’s a star that boy. Fucking hard work, mind.

God alone knows why a generous man like the KoG would waste a second of his valuable time with a fuckwit from Fucksville like you, Crown.

What happened to paul btw. Back in the gimp basement for another few years I guess.

The King only talks to you because you know Immo and I, ya fucking bell-end. He loves Immo.
As you suggest, he thinks I’m a fuckwit, mind.

As for the Aberdeen wonderboy:
Ginger women are God’s angels, ginger men are sailors’ playthings.
Apart from James of course, who is a gent of the highest order.

Odd coincidence that the Pittodrie bumboy would re-appear at the same time as Immogreen chose his moment to speak from beyond the grace, donchathink?

Perhaps one woke up the other... or they are the same unit...nothing would surprise me.

We'll hear from Mita soon. Or Ono. Or, god help us, B*w*a*

Think I banned mita, mo. He is a cunt after all.

While discussing the King's excellent new documentary with him, ( viewable on the iPlayer here:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000jltz/silicon-glen-from-ships-to-microchips ), I complained there were no ginger women it.
He replied Greenock was devoid of ginger women because they've all been stolen by mad, golf club wielding highlanders. This probably explains why James is too busy to post much these days.
He then told me to fuck off and stop pestering him.
Heart of gold that boy.

supermo wrote:Odd coincidence that the Pittodrie bumboy would re-appear at the same time as Immogreen chose his moment to speak from beyond the grace, donchathink?

Perhaps one woke up the other... or they are the same unit...nothing would surprise me.

We'll hear from Mita soon. Or Ono. Or, god help us, B*w*a*

You called?

crownliquor wrote:Think I banned mita, mo. He is a cunt after all.

Did ye fuck!

And it's a bit of a shock to discover that bewlay is still breathing. I had him marked down as a likely suicide after the events of 2012, which led to his raison d'etre no longer being in existence.

mita wrote:

crownliquor wrote:Think I banned mita, mo. He is a cunt after all.

Did ye fuck!

And it's a bit of a shock to discover that bewlay is still breathing. I had him marked down as a likely suicide after the events of 2012, which led to his raison d'etre no longer being in existence.

I had to look up raison d'etre before I responded.  not being blessed with a lot of grey matter I just wanted to be sure.

"Reason for being".  "the sole or ultimate purpose of something or someone"
I genuinely laughed

Paul, then Immo?

Mita, then ... B*w*a*?

I'm beginning to believe in the afterlife after all.

Either that all you're all the same cunt, and the cunt's name is... Crown Licker.

mita wrote:

crownliquor wrote:Think I banned mita, mo. He is a cunt after all.

Did ye fuck!

Well that’s just disrespectful, posting while you’re supposed to be banned. Your selfish behaviour will have serious repercussions for Sev when he’s released from pie rehab……..again.

supermo wrote:I'm beginning to believe in the afterlife after all.

Either that all you're all the same cunt, and the cunt's name is... Crown Licker.

Now then. I’m in town soon (if The King grants my visa) and any nonsense will result in us calling round and administering a severe thrashing, and not the sort of thrashing you usually pay for, you filthy beast.

It has come to my attention that Mr Liquor, a professed Rangers fan, has no idea who COLIN STEIN is...

Clearly an imposter. Possibly a Timposter.

* I know you wrote professed, but I read it as professional for my reply.

Professional implies work, something neither I nor my alleged Tim brethren undertake.

Sev thinks work is a tasty pie filling.
Servicing sailors is young Paul’s hobby, so that doesn’t count.
Being a cunt is no work at all for Mita.
There have been no jobs in the highlands since the clearances so James gets by on being an utter gent and raffish ging-herrness.
Is Absolut a Tim? Her posting work ethic suggests so.
And Immo has turned his back on such a capitalist, pig-dog invention. He’d be advised not to turn it on young Paul, mind.

It’s only your industry keeping the whole Tim Nation afloat, Mo.

crownliquor wrote:
* I know you wrote professed, but I read it as professional for my reply.

Professional implies work, something neither I nor my alleged Tim brethren undertake.

Sev thinks work is a tasty pie filling.
Servicing sailors is young Paul’s hobby, so that doesn’t count.
Being a cunt is no work at all for Mita.
There have been no jobs in the highlands since the clearances so James gets by on being an utter gent and raffish ging-herrness.
Is Absolut a Tim? Her posting work ethic suggests so.
And Immo has turned his back on such a capitalist, pig-dog invention. He’d be advised not to turn it on young Paul, mind.

It’s only your industry keeping the whole Tim Nation afloat, Mo.

Yada yada, so many fkn yada....

But.... COLIN STEIN though ???

Crown Licker surely equals fake news.

Yada yada, so many fkn yada....

But.... COLIN STEIN though ???

Crown Licker surely equals fake news.

Sigh.
And the actual conversation, redacted to protect the guilty:

There was a slight disagreement with The King over gold in this video:

New Glasgow Vid.
“Glasgow Driving - With The King of Glasgow”
The King is God.

New Glasgow video.

Worth watching for the wonderful, period detailing in immo’s Victorian Villa.
Don’t be fooled by his “man of the people” persona, he’s proper middle class, he even has a Kitchen Aid mixer.

And for The King’s take on the “Scottish Ferry Fiasco”. It’s no wonder he’s an award winning journalist………and unreliable fuck-wit.

Five Days in Glasgow:

This is rather good Crown. Even the Falkirk bits with Lord and Lady Fauntleroy in their "villa"...

Crying out for a picture of a seedy bar near the Mitchell Library though... most remiss that you didn't get that taken instead of hanging round the toilet trying to raise "bus fare"...

Goodness, praise from dad, thank you.

Immo & Toots were hospitality incarnate.
They said it was the nicest day of the summer in Falkirk, with blue skies and sunshine as far as the eye could see.
First draft of the Falkirk script is written, need to discuss a few things with immo.

The King surpassed himself, as he does each year. Kindest man in Glasgow.
His piece on the Scottish Ferries was effortlessly brilliant.
We have an idea for this year’s video and he’s thinking of buying me a Queen’s Drive flat so I have a Glasgow base. Or did I dream that?
Anyway, he says you’re a twat.

crownliquor wrote:Goodness, praise from dad, thank you.

Immo & Toots were hospitality incarnate.
They said it was the nicest day of the summer in Falkirk, with blue skies and sunshine as far as the eye could see.
First draft of the Falkirk script is written, need to discuss a few things with immo.

So, just for clarity...

Five months after you meandered north, the script for the Falkirk video isn't yet cleared with the self-styled master of the Friday night quiz?
Yet you berate the KoG for being a little slow to respond to your every petty demand?

I'm surprised he hasn't withdrawn co-operation. Very long-suffering indeed. You're more likely to find yourself decapitated and buried under the floorboards in that Queen's Drive flat. And it would serve you right.

What a cunt.

Not quite correct, sweetheart.

I work on one major project at a time and have only recently begun “Falkirk Wandering”, because…….

The unreliable, regal fuckwit kept me waiting three months for the Avalon Pub photos after which I gave up and published the video, allowing me to commence writing FW.

I’m sure if I’d have asked quiz meister immo, he would have jumped on a Glasgow train and taken Avalon photos for me. Yes, he would probably have become distracted and ended up drunk under the M8 flyover singing sea shanties, but he’d have taken the photos.



Video published, the useless, throne sitting twat sent Avalon photos, for which he wanted his tummy tickled and a Goodboy choc drop. What good are photos for an already published vid?



The King lives for my petty demands, they validate him.

You’ll be welcome at the flat for tea, despite the constant hostility towards your favourite.

Sad. Desperately sad.

Those purple doors..!