The King & I

The King very generously, and at short notice, sprinkled his magic on this video.

As always, musical magic is supplied by god’s own musician, Furniture Went Mad.

TEASER:

The King has written and recorded an insightful, informative, biting, Glasgow piece. Unfortunately his photos are unsuitable and he’s going to take some more.
If you see a crown wearing gentleman taking photographs in central Glasgow, tap him on the shoulder and say:
“You are the King of Glasgow and I claim my free drink.” **



** The dipso is not eligible for this contest.

The King is so good in this video he comes dangerously close to Falkirk Genius standards.

For optimal enjoyment play this video with high volume.

The King of Glasgow on Queen Street:

The King plays Glasgow City Council in this video, which is stark contrast to the baldy fella who just plays with himself. (I write these baldy bashing gags just for you, immo)

65 to 117 Argyle Street, Glasgow:




The King is writing and recording a half hour Glasgow script that even a cunt like mita will enjoy. When that’s completed there will be the delicate task of asking the legendary Furniture Went Mad to dip once again into his legendary well of generosity to write the music. One day he’s going to say, “just fuck off”.

test wrote:The King is so good in this video he comes dangerously close to Falkirk Genius standards.

For optimal enjoyment play this video with high volume.

The King of Glasgow on Queen Street:

Best thing on the Internet during 2015.

Those Erased Culture guys are just sublime.

What's happened to immogreen, btw? Cunt posted missing again, no surprise, he has no staying power that Falkirk cuntybaws.

The King of Glasgow has kindly sprinkled his magic on this Leadenhall Market video:



The cycling obsessed twat, who’s little more than the baldy fella’s lapdog, pointed out that the filthy beast posted about Leadenhall Market in April 2010:

https://stennymad.forumakers.com/t1180-i-waited-for-the-man

A quick perusal of baldy’s post leaves one in no doubt it was just a ruse to show off that he’s had his photo taken with his teenage wank fodder heroes. These people are non entities though, real men have their photo taken with immo.

Tarquin TV: “The BBC, dearie me” (King of Glasgow Version)

WARNING - Contains gratuitous Falkirk mentions:




Original version:




And if you’re interested, how the video was made:

The King of Glasgow kindly took time out from mistreating his subjects to record an audio piece for this Notts video.

Nottingham Wandering - It’s Hardly a Love Letter

WARNING - Contains one gratuitous Falkirk mention:

The King reprises his newsreader role in this Tarquin TV video. I don’t think he understands anything he’s saying, but that’s the same as all newsreaders.

Tarquin TV2: “Team Sky, dearie me”

WARNING: Contains gratuitous Falkirk and Jonathon James-Goodison references.

There’s no joy, but today The King sent a recording that had me laughing out loud. It’s so good it equals the dipso genius at his best.

The King swaggers up to the mic, glances at the script, scoffs and delivers a performance beyond compare. Finished, he sneers for effect and saunters off, cock-sure in his own ability. The crowd goes wild.

Tarquin TV3: “Farmers, dearie me”

WARNING: Contains more gratuitous Falkirk and Jonathon James-Goodison mentions than normal.

The King has sent the most impertinent email.
He has just won a Scottish BAFTA and along with a picture of the greeting trophy he requested if his fee for appearing in EC videos could be renegotiated. This is outrageous behaviour. I told him he would still have to pay £100 pounds to appear in every EC video which he should consider a privilege. How else am I to afford poncing about in art galleries if he gets a fee reduction?
If this nonsense continues it may necessitate a trip to Glasgow and showing him the back of my hand. Damn his impudence.


Seriously though, he did win a BAFTA and richly deserved it was too, he’s very good. Congratulations, mate.

Thanks test. There really was no need to send a congratulatory cock-sock though, and especially one that hasn't been through the wash since you last "used" it...

That was a state of the art pop filter you ingrate. Anyway, bet you’ve been sleeping with it under your pillow to feel close to me, you filthy beast.

Furniture Went Mad wrote the most brilliant piece of music for this video. The baldy fella will buy the first person to name which classic British film soundtrack it plays homage to, a pint. Unless the winner is immo, he shouldn’t be encouraged to partake.

The King doesn’t feature in this video, but the soundwave was formed from a recording he sent.

Tarquin is Suspicious:

I really going to have to find some time in my busy schedule to trawl through all this. Feel a bit of a cunt after crown makes all this effort

After extensive negotiations the king has signed a new contract. Well, I say negotiations, he sat in his office (sans pants) swinging his BAFTA menacingly, dictating demands. I, like the bitch I am, sucked it all up and agreed to his every desire, while feeding him grapes attired in arse-less chaps and a peek-a-boo bra.
The degradation was worth it, as I slipped in a few hidden clauses that will be revealed to the potentate at opportune moments.

Anyway, here’s his first contribution on the new contract, in which he is of course excellent.
Music as always is by the peerless Furniture Went Mad.

That music is Fucking A btw

Asking the King for a contribution elicits the full range of responses, or no response at all. When prompted he’ll say he’s been working dawn to dusk shooting another BAFTA winning project and he’ll send the contribution some time. But, forward him anything from the apple of his eye, Tarquin, and he’s on to it quicker than a ginger highlander on to a stray sheep (nae offence, James).
So here we have Tarquin’s latest target.

WARNING: Contains gratuitous Falkirk, Jonathon James-Goodison and soft southern nancy boy references.

The King of Glasgow discusses 5 things that define Glasgow for him:



One hates to compound his hubris, which is unbearable at the best of times, but he is fucking brilliant, really fucking brilliant. He’ll never attain the hero status bestowed upon the Falkirk Genius, mind.

Now it seems plain that the King indulges you simply for amusement, Crown. You should feel very lucky. And his audio recording sounded perfect so you clearly got something wrong there.
The only thing wrong with the whole video is that weedy English chap who pops up. He sounds very dodgy.
Plus you don't have any photos of Glasgow Film Theatre...

What the fuck do you know about creativity, you senile old fool? Stick to capitalism you filthy pig dog.

The dodgy, southern fella informs me The King has been sacked due to unreliability and the legendary Furniture Went Mad asked to record the next episode.

There should be some homework for you in the next few days, sweetheart, a quick turnaround is expected.

In an outtake from episode 1 of “The King of Glasgow Holds Court”, The King is very rude about the Falkirk Genius and The Dodgy Southern Fella weakly defends the musical legend.

It should be pointed out that the unreliable, dipso twat was always supposed to be involved in these recordings and TDSF holds great affection for him, which rankles TKoG, he’s a very jealous man.

There is a slight audio breakup due to Skype.

https://soundcloud.com/stennymadpodcast/episode-1-outake-1

Second part of the Glasgow conversation with The King, in which he’s once again excellent.
Wandering round town listening to his stories would be bliss, he would of course have to buy lunch.

The King of Glasgow Answers Questions - Episode1:

The ever wonderful King of Glasgow and the camp southern bloke share the commentary in this architecture video. Music as always is by Scotland’s most generous musician, the legendary Furniture Went Mad.



The King is very professional, you can tell he’s had media training. Well, he’s worked in a paper shop. I have my suspicions he’s a mason, mind.