John Lennon anniversary tribute

Apologies for the long post; but not only is this one of the best things Rockin Ray Lowry ever wrote for the NME (IMHO), it's the perfect way to counterbalance all the soppy/soupy bullshit that clogged up the papers/web today.

"Imagine" indeed

Raise a glass to Dr Winston O Boogie while yer at it why dontcha!

So how do you commemorate the anniversary of Lennon’s death?

TWIST! AND SHOUT!

Dig out your yellowing copies of the Liverpool Echo, Tuesday December 9, 1980 (JOHN LENNON SHOT DEAD), Manchester Evening News (BEATLE LENNON SHOT DEAD) or local evening paper of your choice, Daily Mirror dated December 10 (DEATH OF A HERO), your souvenir commemorative tie, badge, bust and ashtray, your copies of ‘Double Fantasy’, ‘Imagine’, ‘Plastic Ono Band’, etc.; even your John Lennon, the Life and Death of a Legend and John Lennon, the Life and Legend, Sunday Times special tribute, and situate all these in appropriately reverential position around your room. Place copy of ‘Beatles for Sale’, on turntable, turn volume control to the highest level you can get away with and lower stylus onto track four, side one: ‘Rock And Roll Music’. Forget that “rock” is “dead”. Listen.

Der-dang-a-dang!

“JUST LET ME HEAR SOME OF THAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC,
ANY OLD WAY YOU CHOOSE IT,
IT’S GOT A BACK BEAT YOU CAN’T BLUES IT
ANY OLD TIME YOU USE IT,
GOTTA BE ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC
IF YOU WANNA DANCE WITH ME!
IF YOU WANNA DANCE WITH ME!”

If you are not totally convinced, this far into the track, that this is the most exciting, the greatest recorded performance you have ever heard in your life, then I would venture to suggest that your aesthetic criteria are sadly in need of a good kick in the ass. Of course, there are plenty other Greatest Recorded Performances, but we’re considering John Lennon here tonight, y’hear?
Play the track again. If you’re not feeling good by now, go and see a doctor. Play it one more time. If you’re not grinning stupidly by now and walking into walls, it’s too late for the doctor to help you; go and see an undertaker. Wash your hands and face while considering the following:

“I GOT NO KICK AGAINST MODERN JAZZ,
UNLESS THEY TRY TO PLAY IT TOO DARN FAST,
AND LOST THE BEAUTY OF THE MELODY,
UNTIL IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE A SYMPHONY,
THAT’S WHY I GO FOR THAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC!”

Comb your hair, or spray with tangerine-flake and oven cleaner or fix with Araldite and fuse wire should you desire – whenever you do to make yourself (un)presentable to the outside world. Get inside of the nearest public house stocking bottled Carlsberg beverages. Drink a lot of these in rapid succession until you start listing floorwards. Rush home before oblivion intrudes. Fumble ‘Beatles for Sale’, track four, side one, back onto turntable and play continuously until the neighbours cut up rough, the fire brigade calls, or sleep descends – having trashed all newspapers, tributes, souvenir tie, badges, ashtrays, pipes and slippers immediately on your return home. Notice that a great distance away, someone is singing:

“I TOOK MY LOVED ONE OVER CROSS THE TRACKS,
SO SHE COULD HEAR MY MAN A WAILING SAX,
I MUST ADMIT THEY HAD A ROCKIN’ BAND,
MAN, THEY WERE BLOWIN’ LIKE A HURRICANE!”

In this enormous, young voice that sounds like it knows everything it will ever need to know. Exuberantly and enthusiastically throw ‘Double Fantasy’, ‘Imagine’, small items of furniture and animal life around the room. Kick in television screen. Fall catatonic to the floor.

Wake at 4am to harsh electric light and the muffled sound of your stylus thudding monotonously into the spinout groove of ‘Beatles for Sale’. Crawl upstairs to bed with nauseous headache. Wake again, much later the following afternoon, feeling hideous. Take ‘Beatles for Sale’ out of sleeve once again and drop stylus onto track four, side one:
“JUST LET ME HEAR SOME OF THAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC!”

John Lennon lives.

RAY LOWRY

No Elvis Beatles or The Rolling Stones CSC

Cynic

I fucking love you immo, like a brother as you ask, but rock and roll is more offensive than boybands (sort of ).

This is a proper Lennon song:

He was a tad over-rated though, Immo. Let's face it if he hadn't been shot he'd be some old fart with a dodgy catalogue really.

I prefer the theory Yoko had him shot to protect her pension plan