Ms Absolut

I’m looking for a bad tempered old trout to abuse on here
while the mardy one’s away, how are you fixed?





You must know who Truman Capote is or the deal’s off.

Mardy has left me with full authority to act on her behalf during her absence. So bring it on, fuckface

PS Truman Capote was a brand of custard in Canada between the wars.

Everyone knows that ffs.

You mean it's not a type of small chicken?

I feel so foolish

Immo wrote:You mean it's not a type of small chicken?

I feel so foolish

It may have that meaning on another planet, like Falkirk.

You cunt! Tea just dribbled out my nose reading that I was laughing so much.

Hmmm, was it real man's tea though? Not one of those gay-as-fuck Tick Tock la-di-da organic shite-through-a-strainer teas?

(As, er, Mardy might say...)

Tetley of course.

Luck be a basturt toninight

Stick with me baby

I'm the fella you came in with

Sit down...........

I am sat down you size-ist bastard.

in a puddle of pish as usual?

Bee-yan shoower mon ami.

BTW...

I'm gonna go back to usin my own pish after tonight.

Your stuff has got a funny smell.

whos upset Mo by the way........what have you said?

Thank you caller...

It's an interesting question - so much so that I'm going to put Archie's fascinating query about how to deal with his wilting aspidistra to one side for the moment.

The answer to your question is in two parts

Part 1

Absolutely no idea.

You probably.

(But that's my default answer to the "Who's upset (insert name)" question anyhow so no surprises there )

Part 2

I KNOW NUUUH- ZEEEEENG!!

hes expressing classic jilted lover syndrome

Well, you're certainly as taciturn as the mardy one Absolut, that's a promising start. Now, have you got a flatmate?

whos crown talking to?.......obviously i know its not me