Saatchi And Tate Modern

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Saatchi And Tate Modern

Post by crownliquor on Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:12 am

It was with a heavy heart that I realised I’d made it through another night, how long must this torment last? The heart was made even heavier (though that might be the wires in it) after confirmation that WBCP hadn’t received an invite to the opening of the Hepworth Gallery.
Think I’m gonna have to find a CP with more pull in the art world, it’s my right as a cyclist to be invited to the opening of all galleries/exhibitions.

(From WBCP -"It turns out the the Arts Council had put me on the guest list so they're going to take it up with the gallery management. I've said I want a personal tour. See, I can be as arrogant as you when I want to be!" - huh. Me? Arrogant? What a shocking calumny.
After she read Monday's review, she also said she wished she had the time I had to indulge myself culturally. She doesn't know how much being me, hurts.)

Culture was required to alleviate the disillusionment, unhappiness and dark thoughts, but where to go? Had a look for some modern art galleries, considered MIMA at Middlesbrough and a few other. None filled me with confidence and their websites are shocking, so decided to overdose with Saatchi Gallery and Tate Modern

The idea was to walk from St Pancras,  to Saatchi, Tate and then back to St Pancras. Recalled from last year’s visit to Saatchi that it was a long walk from town, looked it up on Google Maps and found it was 4 miles. Didn’t realise it was that distance. Train was scheduled to arrive at 12:30, with both galleries closing at 17:00 it only gave me 4.5 hours to visit both. Briefly considered the Tube, but London is too lovely to miss the joy of walking around at every opportunity. This was going to be tight.

At least the train arrived on time, so off I trotted.

Gratuitous shot of Boris’ bicycles just off Tottenham Court Road. The bicycles seem to be utilised by quite a few people:

 Thought this was a BBC building, but Google Goggles indentified it as Senate House, a UCL building on Russell Square. I liked it, anyway:

Tried to recall the route from last year, but nothing, be it a building, a park or a pub rang any bells until I reached Grosvenor Place and I remembered this statue:

Reached Saatchi just before 14:00 and before entering had a sandwich. Sandwich consumed it was culture time.
Oh no it wasn’t, Saatchi was shut for a private event. Hmmm, that wasn’t very good. I even looked on the website to make sure it was open before booking train tickets.

I took this setback as another obvious sign that life is shit. Why must everything be an effort? I’m fucking sick of it. Those are the feelings I have now, yesterday I took it rather stoically and set off for Tate Modern.

The walk to Tate Modern was broken only by dodging rain showers and tourists asking the way to Buckingham Palace. For  a misanthropist I actually like helping people and took the time to show all who asked for directions where they were on Google Maps and where they had to go. It’s nice to be nice.

A few tourist snaps on the way to Tate Modern. Big Ben:

Westminster Abbey. Is that where the pondlife wedding was or was that St Paul’s? :

Have mentioned before I was brought up a Methodist. It instilled in me the overlying way I try to live (well, I’m trying to die at the moment but......), treat others the way you wish to be treated yourself. Anyway, passed the Methodist Central Hall in Westminster. Sure my auntie said it’s very impressive within and would have liked to look around, but time was too short (or too long when you’re trying to die etc, etc):

Having crossed Westminster Bridge, I walked along Southbank to Tate Modern. There was what appeared to be some sort of seaside based festival along it. Again, didn’t have time to investigate. It’s lovely walking along the Thames, but Jesus is Southbank a tourist trap, it’s a bit depressing in that respect.

Having reached Tate Modern, wasn’t in the best frame of mind for art. Plus I couldn’t even find my way to the galleries. Was stuck on the first floor looking at the escalators, with people riding them, encased in glass but couldn’t see how to access them. Finally realised you had to walk up some stairs. Thick as fuck me, but why are galleries and hospital so poorly signed?

There was no installation in the Turbine Room (gutted) and there were too many people, hence the first floor didn’t receive the attention it deserved and I went round it in a misanthropic blur.

Ascending to the next floor of galleries my culture head finally appeared.

Have always liked Marcel Duchamp’s “Bride Being Stripped Bare By Her Bachelors”:

Read a book on symbolism years ago and Umberto Boccioni’s “Unique Forms Of Continuity In Space” has stuck in my mind since, so seeing it in the flesh was a huge pleasure:

Loved this. Lucio Fontana “Spatial Concept Waiting”

Have become a little jaded by painting, sculpture’s where it’s at, did like this though. Giorgio de Chirico “The Painter's Family” :

And this. Georges Braque “Clarinet And Bottle Of Rum On A Mantlepiece” :

This installation was really cool. It was neon lights running with messages up them. Most of the messages were of despair, which really appealed, sat and absorbed this installation for ages. Took some video of it and may put on YouTube at some point if I can be bothered. Jenny Holzer “Blue Purple Tilt” :

I found the energy to upload the video, unfortunately it was rotated ny 90 degrees:

And a bonus video. Mona Hatoum. Mixed media. This piece was fantastic:

Even the gift bags are cool at Tate Modern:

Art is amazing, it evokes awe, insecurity, worthlessness, joy, happiness, it’s all things to all people. Tate Modern is fantastic, please visit, it can’t compare to Plensa at YSP though. I feel in some ways there’s no point in visiting galleries anymore, Plensa will never be surpassed and that makes me sad.

Yesterday was fantastic, I loved it. Again, please go to Tate Modern if you get the chance.

This review has been written in bed, I can’t be bothered to get up and go cycling, oh dear, this is not good. If someone could send some tetankas over, that would be greatly appreciated.


Google Map of yesterday’s walk:


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Re: Saatchi And Tate Modern

Post by crownliquor on Sun Jun 12, 2011 8:28 am

Fuck knows why the Tate video links don't work, and I'm qualified in webpage design (but not living) and all sorts. Here are the links:


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