Re: Shouldn't we have a WC thread?

[Immo]

Sperms nervously chewed his pencil...

The sports desk of the Auchensneckie Advertiser was deserted apart from him.

How come he always managed to snag these nightmare assignments

Why had Kitty the tea-lady left that obscene message on his voice-mail.

What could the 'Spermo Go Home' grafitti scrawled on his lined, Junior Reporter notepad (75p from Stationery Box) mean?

He leaned back on his chair and put his feet on the desk - disturbing an enormous pile of suspiciously crusty, crumpled tissues.

"Y'know.. despite it's deserted nature..." mused Cub-Reporter Sperms, "...you could still cut the atmosphere at the news desk with a knife."

(His decision to plump for the boiled-egg biryani at lunchtime was already preying on his mind. )

If I could just decide on a headline and take the gamble.... I could piss off early. And catch all the glory tomorrow

But is it...

GHANA GONERS!!!

or

GAUN GHANA!!!


Hmmmmm

[Gladstone]

Immo, it's GYAN GHANA !

[Gladstone]

Of course, "I reckon England can step up" (KK).

Ich bin ein Berliner

[Immo]

Terrible whiff of Brut offa that last post Gee

I've no idea what to make of your claim that you are a custard-filled doughnut.

[Gladstone]

Here, immo, I thought you were up the Woodside for the match. When in there, have you had the pleasure of my old mate Billy S. (he's a car salesman, owns the garage nearby)? What a bigot! But he is actually my pal!

[Gladstone]

Terrible whiff of Brut offa that last post Gee

I've no idea what to make of your claim that you are a custard-filled doughnut.

Oh, I should have said "knock out, 'enry'!"

[Gladstone]

The ishould is probably a bit of technology crown owns.

[Immo]

Here, immo, I thought you were up the Woodside for the match. When in there, have you had the pleasure of my old mate Billy S. (he's a car salesman, owns the garage nearby)? What a bigot! But he is actually my pal!

That was the plan Gee - got blown out by big Ginge tho and couldn't be arsed goin on our own

I think I passed by the guy you're talkin about today.

Is it the one that used to be Blackadders garage?

Or is it the one nearer Comely Park?

[Gladstone]

Here, immo, I thought you were up the Woodside for the match. When in there, have you had the pleasure of my old mate Billy S. (he's a car salesman, owns the garage nearby)? What a bigot! But he is actually my pal!

That was the plan Gee - got blown out by big Ginge tho and couldn't be arsed goin on our own

I think I passed by the guy you're talkin about today.

Is it the one that used to be Blackadders garage?

Or is it the one nearer Comely Park?

The old Blackadders, I think: red brick building. For any others looking in, this is local yokel chat......

Billy's every second word is a derivative of 'fuck'. Although he sometimes uses "fuckin' fuck". So it's an average I'm using. I've got a pile of funny stories about the bluenose bastard.

One involved him telling the medics his weight, scaled down a few levels, when he was getting a vasectomy at the private hospital in Stirling. So he woke up during the operation.

[supermo]

Yank Wanks Tank in the Stank

Ghana's Gonny Get Ya.

[Gladstone]

Yank Wanks Tank in the Stank

Ghana's Gonny Get Ya.

Fantastic...... I expect to see those in the Sunday Telegraph tomorrow.

[Immo]

[Immo]

AL QUAEDA PLOT BEHIND ENGLAND'S COLLAPSE? (Daily Mail)

GET THE EYE-TIE TAE FUCK!!! (The Sun - Rangers Scottish Edition)

BALLS!!... 4-1... AND WON F***-ALL (Christian Science Monitor)

[supermo]

"English exit will hit house prices" - Daily Mail

"Coalition reviews immigration policy after Italian holds FA to ransom" - Telegraph

"England exit the result of Osborne VAT hike" - Guardian

"Krauts & Argies in Refs pay-off probe" - Sun.

"Celtic to break bank to sign former youth player on a Bosman" - The Herald

[Immo]

I bow to your clearly superior sub-editing skills

[Immo]

Ooooft!

Beauty from Tevez

3-0 game over.

[crownliquor]

Now this is a game of football.

Argentina have impressed me more than any other team. Can't bear Mascherano and Heinze mind, fucking cheating scum.

Mexico are a tidy team too, very impressed.

[crownliquor]

The ref is contributing to a good match too, not fussy at all.

[Gladstone]

The ref is contributing to a good match too, not fussy at all.

He certainly wasn't too fussy about the offside rule!

[Immo]

And that!!.... mes amis is why we follow 'le futebol'

I could write from now until my cock falls off and not come up with drama as real and as plausible as what we just witnessed.

Buy tickets for the West End for the rest of yer natcherell... still won't top that.

Fucking

Fabulous.

God.... I love the World Cup

Still...

...wouldn't do to be too mainstream/thick/populist now would it?

So...

Crowny son...

How excitin are things gettin in the world of the spoke and the 3-in-1 oil can?

I'm agog



Farquhar McProddy crosses the tape to win the Belfast (East) stage of the Tour d'Oyrluhn

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