Over the sea.....

FALKIRK- MALLAIG - THE JOURNEY UP

The first photie taken on the trip is always... always... Glencoe. Fuckin magical. Looks a bit American in this dontcha think?





A track off Toots' i-pod was playing as we drove through the glen... seemed to fit.



Managed to snap a wee boat on Loch Linnhe (?) as we approached grimy, presbyterian, Fort William.



On to the Road to the Isles...

Stopped at Loch nan Uamh where Prince Charles Edward Stuart departed for France after his wanderings in the Highland and Islands following the defeat of the Jacobite forces at the Battle of Culloden on 16 April 1746. There was a wee cairn and a plaque erected by a bunch of Monarchist nutters... but why waste time looking at that when you can feast yer eyes on the natural beauty of the surroundings?





Sorry... I meant to post...








Arrived at Mallaig





Thwarted in attempt to get impressive close-up of herring-gull by premature shutter-clickage





Ferry sailed at 15.10...


Don't miss the next thrilling instalment...

...to Skye!!!!!

Can't wait! Is that Doctor Martin in the photo on the rock?

DAY ONE

Ferry was an absloot blast.







Arrived at Armadale (no... not that one) and motored up to the gaff that my wee cuz, her significant other and their 3 kids were staying in...

Here's the view from the front door.



We were in Sleat (the garden spot of the whole island apparently) and the vibe was v mellow indeed.



Right up until Uncle Immo cracked the "Velcro.... ...what a rip-off " gag, and horrified childe A.



Then back to the gaff for Talisker, Beserker Ale, Shiraz and spliff

(Much like a normal Tuesday night for me - but with a much nicer backdrop )

She takes a lovely photie does Toots

It's a Rockwood (They're nearly like Rockports (c) - honest ) standard, black, functional, work-boot as it goes Gee - but you were close

Fantastic place to spend a few relaxing days, Immo!

DAY TWO

Up at the C of D for a bit of exploring with Jet - the dopiest black Lab in the history of DBL's





Sligachan Hotel for a few scoops and chicken liver pate (weirdly, served with Hobnobs instead of the more traditional oatcake )

Then off to Portree (more scoops, ice-cream cones at the harbour, coupla scoops for the road...etc etc...)

Back home at teatime .... out to the local Hotel for a bar-meal and then a tiring walk home with childe B on the shoulders.

Fuckin triffic scenery tho.

Ahhhh - you said a load Mits.

As soon as "The Play" hits the West-End and I'm financially unembarrassed for life... I'm there.

I've even bought the jaggy jumper and everythin

DAY THREE - THE JOURNEY HOME

Stopped off at Mallaig

Or http://www.andyrace.co.uk/ to be more exact.

2 x whole seabass
1 x big, fuck-off, spanking fresh squid
12 x scallop meats
2 x sp. fr. plumptious haddock fillets
1 x pack of kippers...

Twenty-two quid the lot

Stopped off 8 miles up the road at Arisaig after spotting the best beach ever from the passenger window.



Toots either had a bit of trouble with the ole handbag...



...or she couldn't stand to contemplate how much her spouse had begun to resemble a cross between a badly-packed parachute and a 103-year-old Mark E Smith after a night on the skids



And finally.... the answer to the 'what happened next quiz'

"Brilliant" was the most popular answer

(Mainly due to the fact that Sperms was the only person who bothered to guess )

The actual answer is sadly, more prosaic and predictable






FIN

That guy in the red and white hoops - it's his story I'd like to hear.

"There I was taking in some good vibes in Skye, some fat cunt fae Falkirk wouldn't leave me alone. His nurse seemed alright though, apparently her bro's a nazi..?"

My wee cuz's S.O. was glad to see both Toots and myself I'll have you know.

He'd never have managed to finish all that Talisker and voddy without us I'll tell ya that fer nowt

Immo wrote:

And finally.... the answer to the 'what happened next quiz'

"Brilliant" was the most popular answer

(Mainly due to the fact that Sperms was the only person who bothered to guess )

The actual answer is sadly, more prosaic and predictable






FIN

Haw, I entered ya fucking mong. "Beautiful" was my guess. He's such a sweeite thou knows.


Great stuff again Mr Green.

Immo wrote:

Looks like you're rough as fuck you had a good time Immo

I love Glencoe, its simply stunning but no pics from my other fav place in the world Glenfinnan. Where the glen, monument or viaduct. Marked down for that I'm afraid

Good price for the fish as well mate, I'll be expecting the recepies later this week

All in all an excellent report, 9 outta 10

Looks like you had a great time, Immo, and that was a lovely review.

One question: I only see white people in these photographs. Are people with a different coloured face (for example, yellow) welcome on Skye?

They don't go for Tims much Gee - I know that much

James - there was a geezer stood outside said memorial when we were drivin up. All done out in the trad garb he was, and shouldering an enormous musket.

I've never seen one bigger I'll tell ya

Sorry Crownybhoy - missed your late entry (oooerr) Hopelessly wide of the mark as per tho

this is gonna sound freaky but.....those pictures arent Immo and my sister

I've never seen either of em before neither

And who are you anyway?

message for the saggy jowled alkie and craggy fag hag impersonating my family ..... release them now and return the binoculars unharmed and that will be the end of it....

SnakePlissken wrote:message for the saggy jowled alkie and craggy fag hag impersonating my family ..... release them now and return the binoculars unharmed and that will be the end of it....

I'm getting the impression that you'd settle for just the binoculars.

Am I right?