nicked from elsewhere(well you wouldnt find stuff like this originating here, would you)

Qaeda on Strike



Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day
strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are
entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far
failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al
Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would
receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February from 72 to only
60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the
number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the
afterlife.



The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational
Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M. ) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.
General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members
are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We
don't ask for much in return; but to be treated like this is like a kick
in the teeth".



Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he
currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,
"We sympathize with our workers concerns; but, Al Qaeda is simply not in
a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the
realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.



Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of
virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing
expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd
hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow
themselves up."



Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland,
Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would
not affect their operations, as "There are no virgins in their areas
anyway."



Apparently, the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
down to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that
Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like, they are not so keen on
going to paradise.

I bet that union has a fantastic pension scheme.