Was sitting outside ...

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Was sitting outside ...

Post by test on Fri Jul 11, 2014 8:15 am

......a pub (The Boot on Cromer Street if you’re interested) this afternoon and a ging-herr girl was trying to talk to me and pointing out a squirrel. If she’d pointed out her monkey I may have been interested.


On the train home a girl in her early twenties was trying to play footsie with me and another girl in her mid twenties standing by the door was locking eyes with me constantly. She was way out of my league (anyone with a pulse it out of my league), but this persisted until we both alighted at the same station. I hung back and hid in the station toilet, beautiful women intimidate me.

Now I know I’ve cycled a lot recently and cultivated an impressive tan but this sort of attention will start me messing about with women in their twenties again, then Mardy will berate me for punching above my weight once more. Then he’ll start making conditions, like he won’t buy me drink all night unless I go with prostitutes and I don’t want that. I also don’t want the free drink to stop, oh it’s all so unfair.
What I need is someone to support my art gallery, cycling and occasional wine interests so I can break away from Mardy’s financial hold on me, if they’re ging-herr (and female, sorry James) all the better. In return I’m willing to undertake housework and light petting.



The Town Hall Annexe on Euston Road is a beautiful piece of concrete architecture. It’s is classed as Brutalist architecture, but it shouldn’t be:



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Re: Was sitting outside ...

Post by APOSTROPHE THIS YA CUNT! on Fri Jul 11, 2014 7:07 pm

Im an arty farty cunt too, and i fell in love with this solid glass puppy in Chesterfield yesterday.
Unfortunately i canny post pictures from my phone, so google it ya cunt. ( arty farty that is).

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Re: Was sitting outside ...

Post by test on Sat Jul 12, 2014 7:04 am

Do you mean this, sev?

http://www.chesterfield.gov.uk/Latest-News/A-falcon-and-a-puppy-take-up-residence-in-Chesterfield-14-1062.html

As you can’t post photos from your phone, does this mean we can’t expect any holiday snaps? Hope you had a pleasant time.




Too wet for cycling this morning so went for a walk. Half an hour in I passed a jogger, and after exchanging greetings in which she apologised for her dog barking at me, I regained my composure, climbed down from the tree and continued with my walk.

One and a half hours later (it’s a 13 mile walk) I met her again, still jogging. She stopped and showed me a picture of her monkey on her phone. Alright, it was a picture of some poppies. I would encounter these poppies in two fields time she said, and she was so enthusiastic about them I didn’t have the heart to say I hate nature. I was more concerned with how far she’d run, 9 miles, which is pretty impressive because she was chatting away like it was nothing.

She’d just run across a freshly ploughed field, I’ll repeat that, RUN. I was about to ponce across it very slowly and she was most concerned that I didn’t turn my ankle and to take care. I must look like the most vulnerable and in need of mothering, person in the world, I think she’d have carried me across if I’d asked.

Why the fuck people stop and talk to me is a mystery, I’m the least approachable person in the world, as I’ve said many times. I really must get that sign saying “don’t talk to me you cunts” to hang around my neck. She did have beautiful teeth though.

Anyway, here’s a picture of the poppies in case you think I make this stuff up:



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Re: Was sitting outside ...

Post by JimmyMcGrory on Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:15 am

I cycled a bit today, can't really be fucked TBH

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Re: Was sitting outside ...

Post by test on Mon Jul 28, 2014 7:51 am

No one tried to pick me up this week, I’m feeling quite hurt. Mardy did drop in wearing a white vest and chaps yesterday, looking like a fat member of The Village People. Perhaps this was his subtle way of indicating he was interested, he never said anything while we were showering though.*






*Alright, I made that bit up, he wasn’t wearing chaps.

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