Fucking doctors

5 posters

Page 2 of 2 Previous  1, 2

Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by supermo Mon Oct 14, 2019 1:59 am

I'm guessing the "procedure" was an undropped testicle, guys - any alternatives?

supermo
supermo

Number of posts : 3941
Age : 103
Registration date : 2008-05-10

Back to top Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by test Wed Jan 29, 2020 12:36 am

Walking this morning I found an elderly lady on hands and knees at the end of her drive in obvious distress.

Me: Are you ok?
Lady: Of course not you fucking moron. How many 80 year olds do you know who kneel on gravel in sub-zero temperatures?

Is what she should have replied to my stupid question. Instead her response was: “Not really, I think I’ve broken my hip.

I opened the hatchback of her car, lifted her up (fuck me people are heavy, I’d have left them where they lay if it was Sev) and rested her on the boot lip as she was in too much pain to reach the house or cimb into the car.

She was a hero, never complained and kept thanking and apologising for inconveniencing me, her courage was humbling.

Rang for an ambulance and for her nephew to come, who turned up within 10 minutes.

With her family in attendance I carried on with my walk.

From finding her, until the arrival of her nephew, I’ve never felt so helpless, useless and pathetic, I take it all back, doctors are gods.





Postcript:
Two hours later ambulance control rang me to ask if she was still outside. The poor women had been sat in the cold with a broken hip waiting for an ambulance that still couldn’t give an estimated time of arrival. Disgraceful.

test

Number of posts : 717
Registration date : 2008-05-08

Back to top Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by crownliquor Fri Mar 18, 2022 6:46 pm

Had a pre op check the other day and it was with the same nurse from this 2019 post:

test wrote:A local anaesthetic was required for a small procedure the other week.
While waiting the nurse was all over me like a rash, which is hardly surprising, I was the only non tattooed oik in the hospital and with my boyish (if you squint) good looks (if you squint really hard) I’d caught her eye.

Being a sensitive soul it took 3 shots of anaesthetic to dull the scalpel blade and towards the end of the procedure the room started swimming and I felt as sick as a dog.
“The injection has probably entered a blood vessel, lay back and I’ll tilt the table so the blood rushes to your head.”  I heard the doctor say.
That did the trick, and after a minute or so I was fine to go back in the waiting room.

The nurse returned with my release papers and sarcastically said:
“You’re free to go now if you’ve recovered from your little turn”
Her tone was such that she didn’t need to add:
“Don’t forget your handbag on the way out ya tart”

Fucking nurses, wrong-uns to a man.

Nurse: I’ve seen you before, haven’t I?

Me: Yes, I was in for a biopsy a few years ago.
Nurse: Ah yes, you nearly passed out ya big fairy.*

Fucking nurses, wrong-uns to a man.

*She didn’t say the last bit, but had remembered me and was obviously thinking it, and rightly so. Where’s my blouse?

crownliquor

Number of posts : 3750
Registration date : 2008-05-08

Back to top Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by crownliquor Mon Jun 13, 2022 6:42 am

Hmm, was admitted for my op the other week, dressed in gown and those silly tube socks ready for theatre when they sent me home because there wasn’t a high dependency bed available for me after the op.
Fucking doctors, wrong-uns to a man.

crownliquor

Number of posts : 3750
Registration date : 2008-05-08

Back to top Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by crownliquor Mon Jul 25, 2022 6:35 pm

Continued….

Another appointment was made at which I saw the same doctor, a very nice Spanish lady, who apologised for the first cancellation and assured me the procedure would go ahead today. It didn’t ………..due to no high dependency bed.

Appointment three was for the afternoon list and I turned up expecting to be sent home once again.
Having barely checked in, I was ushered into pre-op, swabbed, ECG’d and seen in quick succession by the doctor, (not nice Spanish lady this time) anaesthetist and told to don my gown. It seemed they were trying to rush me through before anyone could cancel the operation for a third time.

Side note: A nurse informed me the best way to dress in a gown, is to lay it flat on the bed, tie the ribbons and then place over your head like dressing in a T-shirt. All the times I’ve worn a gown and didn’t know that, though surely Velcro ties would be easier.

Pre-op:
Fucking doctors - Page 2 Pre-op10

I was wheeled down to theatre and the anaesthetist was chatting to me, saying what hard work her toddlers were, much worse than babies.

Anaesthetist: Do you have children?
Me: No, you can have my children, thanks.
Anaesthetist’s Colleague: Now there’s an offer you don’t get every day.
Me: No, I didn’t mean that, I meant you can have my share of children, I’m not a fan.
Anyway, it caused smiles all round and then she infused me and oblivion came.

Waking in recovery, my nurse said they were just waiting for a bed on the cardio ward to monitor me.
The revised plan was I no longer needed a HD bed, but instead would be monitored for four hours in a cardio ward having previously been told that wasn’t possible because they don’t accept surgery patients, hence I would need an HD bed.

I didn’t realise recovery was one to one and my nurse couldn’t finish her shift at 6pm until I was moved to cardio.
I asked if she received over time, no she replied but you get time off in lieu.

At 6:45pm they wheeled me up to the cardio ward and the recovery nurse was finally able to finish her shift. I apologised for detaining her to which she said, it wasn’t a problem and it was a pleasure to me meet me.
I’m sure that’s not true I responded. It is, you were lovely, didn’t moan once and were very polite, she replied.
It’s nice to be nice.

Post-op:
Fucking doctors - Page 2 Post-o10

A few minutes later the nice Spanish doctor turned up with the duty anaesthetist, saying we’ll get you an ECG and if the anaesthetist is happy you can go home.
All was good and an hour after arriving on the ward I was wandering off.

Waiting outside the hospital in the sunshine for my lift, the nice Spanish doctor saw me and said, hello Mr Liquor, I’m just off to eat, (she’d told me earlier she was on-call and staying at the hospital overnight, because the other rostered on-call doctor was on maternity leave) I’ll see you soon in clinic.

The kindness from everyone I encountered was heart-warming and humbling.

crownliquor

Number of posts : 3750
Registration date : 2008-05-08

Back to top Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by crownliquor Wed Sep 07, 2022 4:58 am

Clinic today with the nice Spanish doctor:

Dr: Ah, Mr Liquor, long time no see, how are you?

It had been six weeks which is an eternity without pies for Sev, of course the doctor had no idea who Sev is.

She was happy with the procedure, which was the removal of a cyst on my jaw necessitating extracting two teeth. (Complicated by my heart condition)

Pics or it didn’t happen:
Fucking doctors - Page 2 Teeth_10

As I was leaving:

Dr: Can you do me a favour, please?
Me: Yes, of course.
Dr: Can you fill this appraisal form of me in, please?
Me: Do I have to be nice?
Dr: Yes.
Me: Ok.

After giving her top marks in all sections, I wrote in the comments section:

“Every encounter with ****** has been a pleasure. She has been unfailingly polite and empathetic.
Many thanks.”


It’s no wonder doctors love me.

Has it come to this though, doctors being rated by the patients?

crownliquor

Number of posts : 3750
Registration date : 2008-05-08

Back to top Go down

Fucking doctors - Page 2 Empty Re: Fucking doctors

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 2 of 2 Previous  1, 2

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum