Strange things said to me this week

“I reckon you’d let me bum you if I took you to Mauritius.”
I didn’t dismiss it out of hand but said he’d have more chance if he took me to a European city, you’ve got to keep your options open.

“Can you measure the distance between the centre of Einstein’s eyes in Birmingham, please”
In case you think I make these things up:



“Liking you goes against all my principles, I normally hate drug dealers”
I’m not a drug dealer, just used to buy in bulk.

“I Love you”
This was from mo, and though not a direct quote, it’s what he was driving at.

Weirdest thing anyone ever said to me i think, was while i was having a piss at a works do, lad i know stands besides me, has a wee look, and says......... I never knew you were circumcized, i'm not even. Well not then anyhoo. Weird cunt eh, i just walked away and left him there..............on the floor in a ball.