Karl Oyston

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Karl Oyston

Post by crownliquor on Fri Aug 20, 2010 6:18 am

Forgetting this:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-11028420

He's said to have imposed a 10K a week limit on wages and refused to pay agent fees. Now isn't that an admirable stance, especially as they'll be relegated at the season's end? All contracts should have clauses to reduce income if they get relegated too.
Thoughts on this mo?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/b/blackpool/8925912.stm

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:28 am

He's a lying cunt who isn't too fond of paying his bills, so I wouldn't set much store in his comments. Burnley had a 10k cap last season and went straight back down again. You need to be paying some massive win bonuses to get away with it in the Premiership (and even the Championship) in the bloated English football market.

I once spent a couple of days with his father, Owen Oyston, another lying cunt and a fantasist to boot. He was in fantasy land about getting into the newspaper publishing business at the time (late 1980s) and thought he could win favour with Kinnock by producing a Labour paper "for t'North". He later got done for rape after his fondness for young local "models" and "Miss Lancashire" contestants went a little too far.

If you come up with some original lines I'll tell you a true story about Owen Oyston, two gentlemen of my acquaintance, and a rather bizarre "business meeting" he hosted in London.

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by JimmyMcGrory on Fri Aug 20, 2010 9:46 am

Jesus Mo, there's no need to give us the sordid details FFS Laughing

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by niall o,dhubghaill on Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:33 pm

Ah cheers Mo, i was wondering why the name Oyston was ringing a bell,to be fair, i was drunk a lot in the eighties. Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by crownliquor on Fri Aug 20, 2010 5:52 pm

Knew uncle mo would have something interesting to say. cheers Are you ever going to write a book you idle cunt?

Paying huge bonuses are fine if you stay up and hence can afford them.

Didn't know that Burnley had a wage cap, did it keep them financially viable, and was it the reason Coyle moved to Bolton, so he could compete in the transfer market?

Test says you're not worth wasting new material on, so I'm gonna stick with the fat boy jibes. Very Happy

Why has Beattie come to Rangers, we can't afford his wages, what's the deal here mo? I've always thought of him as a poor man's Kevin Davies, would have loved to see him at Ibrox.


Sorry for the football post folks. Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Fri Aug 20, 2010 6:45 pm

I don't know enough about Burnley's finances but I think they are quite solvent. Probably contributed to Coyle's decision to move to Bolton, who have a profligate history. Footballers (and managers) don't give a fuck about solvency, they just want more and more and unfortunately they're indulged by the egomaniac chairmen and assorted crooks, Yanks, Saudis and comic singers who run Prem clubs these days.

I don't know Beattie's circumstances. He may have got a pay-off from Stoke and just fancy a couple of glory years in the SPL. I doubt his wages were that high at Stoke - he's never really played for a free-spending club.

It could be a smart signing for Walter Smith (if Beattie stays fit). He's had a strange career in some ways - his highest wages would have been at Everton, where he was a failure. I believe Stoke were due to pay another instalment to Sheffield Utd, which might have speeded his departure.

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:39 am

Two weeks on and not one request for that Owen Oyston story. This board is slippin'.

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by Gladstone on Sat Sep 04, 2010 9:27 am

supermo wrote:Two weeks on and not one request for that Owen Oyston story. This board is slippin'.

If it's the one about the wd40 and the eels, we probably all know it already. pig
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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:09 pm

Very Happy Very Happy

In 1991 (a few years before Oyston's conviction), I was flying back from a weird month in the collapsing Soviet Union. On my connection from Heathrow I found myself sitting next to a music producer I knew. Earlier that day he and a money man had arranged to pitch a business proposal to Owen Oyston. Apart from Blackpool and various other businesses, Oyston owned Red Rose Radio and some local stations in the north-west.

Anyway, they set up their presentation in a hotel conference room and waited. And waited. Finally Oyston arrived wearing a flamboyant suit, a cape, outsize trilby, and a bird about one-third of his age on his arm.

They introduced each other, he and the bird sat down, and the guys started their presentation about revenue streams, radio advertising and community broadcast licenses, all gripping stuff.

After a few minutes it became apparent that they weren't being paid much attention as Mr Oyston was getting a hand-job from his associate.......all the way to a rather noisy climax.

My source, a good Catholic boy from a sheltered background, was still in shock as he recounted the tale Very Happy


Last edited by supermo on Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:29 pm; edited 1 time in total

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Sat Sep 04, 2010 11:26 pm

I met Owen Oyston in 1987, when he was living in a mock-medieval manor house called Claughton Hall in the Lune Valley near Lancaster. A previous owner had had the building moved brick by brick from the bottom of a hill to the top.

I was collected at my hotel by a rather good looking woman in a Maserati, whom I discovered later to be Oyston's ex-wife (and mother of Karl). Confusingly the Oystons later re-married.

When we got there I was shown into the "Great Hall", and after a few moments realised that my host was actually sitting there, on a throne.

After the preambles we got back in the Maserati, drove to a local restaurant and Oyston proceeded to drink copious amounts of wine. He boasted about his (claimed) connections to the Labour leadership and how Kinnock would be making him "Minister for t'North" once Labour swept to power....

Basically he had owned a chain of estate agents founded by his father, and sold them to the Nationwide or somebody for 30m. He had recently taken over a ridiculous newspaper called News On Sunday, a supposedly "left wing" alternative to the Thatcher press which several councils had wasted their employees' pension funds investing in. Over the liqueurs he announced grandly that he wanted me to set up its Scottish operation. He was a bit non-plussed when I told him that the paper actually had an office in Glasgow with two staff employed there already.

Mrs Oyston drove me to my hotel, her ex-husband snoring in the back of a Maserati (which had no back seats).

Just another night on life's cliff-edge..... Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Sun Sep 05, 2010 3:26 am

I guess I really just write here for my own amusement these days.

You tell the eels story, G.

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by JimmyMcGrory on Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:20 am

Is that it? Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:40 pm

Happy Days

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by niall o,dhubghaill on Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:04 pm

well i for one was enthralled mate, fuck the rest of these eejits mo, it,s me and you versus the world mate. Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:24 pm

You're right Sev. Just a buncha cyclists, flouncers and colour blind fuckers on here these days.

And Ono, whose fragrance exempts her from criticism of any sort. sunny

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by niall o,dhubghaill on Mon Sep 06, 2010 10:35 pm

i smell nice too, went up to the hospital this morning for whhat i thought was my circumcision, only to be asked, "and whats the problem", erm, your supposed to be cutting a fanbelt off of me, cue the apologies and a new date, 2 days before my neices engagement do in Tollcross, fuck me, i hope it dont curtail my dancing. Sad

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by crownliquor on Mon Sep 06, 2010 11:11 pm

Get a room, perhaps then you can teach sev what an apostrophe is. Very Happy


Love crown, mo's favourite. (no returns Very Happy )

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Tue Sep 07, 2010 12:41 am

You'll be on so much codeine you won't know if it's Tollcross or Christmas, Sev.

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by niall o,dhubghaill on Tue Sep 07, 2010 8:50 pm

codeine's for pussies, not circumcised nobs. Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Tue Sep 07, 2010 8:56 pm

niall o,dhubghaill wrote:codeine's for pussies, not circumcised nobs. Very Happy

We'll see who's laughing after some scalpel treatment from some shaky handed surgeon Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by JimmyMcGrory on Tue Sep 07, 2010 9:59 pm

Ooh you'll no be laughing when your bell end looks like a 1/2 pound of stitched mince Razz

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by Gladstone on Tue Sep 07, 2010 10:16 pm

From Karl Oyston's dubious sex life to Sev's bell end in a few easy moves. cheers
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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by Gladstone on Tue Sep 07, 2010 10:17 pm

And remember this.......

niall o,dhubghaill wrote:Ah cheers Mo, i was wondering why the name Oyston was ringing a bell,to be fair, i was drunk a lot in the eighties. Very Happy


affraid

lol!
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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by supermo on Wed Sep 08, 2010 12:40 am

See Sev, after all this time on the board I bet you never thought we'd be discussing your foreskin.

The beaver was better, mate Very Happy

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Re: Karl Oyston

Post by niall o,dhubghaill on Wed Sep 08, 2010 9:53 am

embdy want tae buy a fan belt?

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Re: Karl Oyston

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